Forging Ahead

Now that we’re “connected” with a therapist for my son (who both of us like!), we have taken the first medical step in transitioning: Stopping the flow. We had a good appointment with a kind and considerate staff, and knowledgeable and sensitive doctor at Strong Adolescent and Young Adult Medical Group. No worries about him taking birth control to stop the period, says the doc. No major health risks or anything like that.

I have to say, it’s strange. Strange in that some of it is so ordinary, like discussing types of birth control with a doctor. And some of it is so out of the realm of anything I ever thought I’d be doing, like discussing how soon my trans-son can start taking male hormones. (In most cases, 16 is the magic number.)

It’s not like any parent, at least none that I know, ever says, “Oh, I just can’t wait for the day you start taking testosterone!” to their young daughter. Mind you, I’m not saying it’s bad or good or anything. I mean, it’s fine. It’s great, actually, if this helps him be who he is. (Marvels of modern medicine and all that!) It’s just surreal.

We’ve all heard it said how no one is prepared for parenthood – all the struggles, the joys, the every-waking-moment of concern and effort and worry. But really? I mean, really! Where’s the freakin’ handbook on this one?

6 thoughts on “Forging Ahead

  1. I am happy and hopeful for __ (and you). I cant imagine how hard it would be to one day switch saying “my daughter” to “my son”.
    just a single word to change, but being a Mom is so…organic, and all of a sudden your reversing 180 degrees on your identification with your child. Great reading , its a challenge that this generation is paving the way.


    1. Thank you, Jacqui! Yes, in one way it seems a tremendous challenge, but then I think about my child. It’s my child, still, different but the same, and loved beyond words. We love our children, and so we continue to love our children the best we can.


  2. Amazed as I read about your journey. Your son is lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive mother.


  3. I just reread this post, sitting in my car after dropping off miriam at school. I want to say that your son will be a gift to you as a parent. He, through his courage and I’m sure difficulties in making this decision to be who he is, that’s a gift to you of knowing you are doing everything you can for his happiness. A gift of the real meaning of motherhood. Love. And what an amazing support you’ll be for parents who will walk this path too! But like you say about a freaking handbook, I guess a macaroni picture and handmade cards were the gifts you were expecting! I’m so glad we’re friends. I learn a lot from you.


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